Wednesday, September 9, 2009

堕落~~~~~自救吧!!

最近又开始颓废了,又不停地想起往事。。啊~~~~~~~~~真的很讨厌想想想啦!我就快要变回像以前的我了,那份执著又回来了,但这不是好的执著,而这份执著曾为我带来许多困扰。忙忙忙~ 让我好不容易才感觉到自己能够改变想法,改变生活,还觉得自己会有些希望能够撇掉过去的种种~~~不愉快。但近期又开始松懈了,好像变回以前的我了,我似乎不能拥有多余的时间来放松自己。一旦开始放松自己,就什么事都会涌出来了,或许是太得空来想些有的没的吧!!一直以为压力会让我进步,让我能够上进,不再想废的东西。努力求学,为自己将来打算~ 不管在感情还是学业,都是一样!!似乎我的定力还不够,我还是改变不了过去的一切不好,也做不到我想达到的目标。胡思乱想就是让我前进最大的阻碍。。咳~~~ 真的只有我才救得到自己~~~废废废~~~

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Stressssssssssssssssssss~~~~~

Feel so stress n stress n stress for studyin at de super expensive college..abit regret for paying so much to study here..i scare i wil get ntg wit my 40k..SO SHIT!!Damn SHIT~i feel so stress for all de sub i takin tis sem~duno y..it is so much diff feel for studyin at taylor and tarc..

I fEeL th3 sTrEsS taT I eVeR feeL B4...
EveRy9 CanT sLeEp wELL bCz Of tHe StuDy...
TutoRiAL cLaSs oSo StResS...
StarT fRoM wEeK 3...nO oN3 Day cAn tAk3 a DeEp BrEatH...
EverYdAy Got Diff stuFf to Do...smtm tutorial presentation,smtm small quiz,smtm tutorial assignment..DAMNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~So Wish tO ShOut iT oUt!!
NeXt wEeK n FoRwaRd Got 4Assignment tO pAss uP~Individual smor..1500words,400words...
~GOD pls HeLp M3~StreSs bUt HeLpLeSs

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

New Challenges IS coming~

New Life is Coming...hope everythg will goes smooth for me!!I have to work harder and oso study harder for de incoming challenges...this is wat a 20years old gal shud have de thkin...ntg is importan than my future..

We Have tO CrEaTe OuR oWn fUtUrE~ntG iS iMpOrtAnT thAN tAt~
SoMeTiMEs iS bEtTeR tO bE SeLfIsH pErSoN...
BeCauSe nOt EvEryOn3 wiLL chErIsH wAt U Did fOr...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

melaka-kl...kl-melaka...accident??luckily nope..

yea..tis 2mth i seems lik very busy..but when i thk back..i found i din do anythg tat is meaningful one..travelled..worked..and some stupid thking..den wat else i done??ntg..jz a meaningles life..i am jz a stupid n ntg person...bored bored bored..drive oso almost accident..cuz i alwz no concentrat while drivin..and so sleepy smor..few times almos accident..but the amitabha is blessing me..GOD wake me up when i almost crash on the side..thx GOD!!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

想起她~却想哭了~

不知道为什么突然间涌出许多的感触~让我忍不住想哭了!可能,是那位朋友又再让我想起了~很久很久的一段时间没跟她联络了,但不管我再怎么努力,她还是不会原谅我的,因为她说她有自己的原则。去新加坡旅行时,买了一份礼物给她,但却发现我已经没有勇气再打那熟悉但感觉很陌生的电话号码,我怕她根本就不想接我电话。她应该很讨厌我吧~她把一切都说得很像是我错,但。。。我也不知道,只觉得是她变了!算了吧~ 以前的我们好到像双胞胎般,形影不离的。。吃饭一起,读书一起,一个汉堡两人吃,一瓶水两人喝。。我们彼此都认定对方是知己了,但自从大家的生活圈子变不同了以后,她认识了新的朋友,她不需要我这么烦的朋友了。她要我放弃她这个朋友,因为她不再需要我这朋友的关心。所以我们四年的友情在今年初画下句点。但我还是想谢谢她,因为她让我改变了我的坏脾气,让我成长了,也感谢她曾经给过的付出和帮助。虽然现在的我在你眼里不算什么,可能回忆也变得漠糊了。但是我还是会记得你,你是我这辈子最珍惜的知己,所有的回忆都记在我脑海里。有你在的地方,就会有我给你的祝福。不管什么时候,只要你还需要我这朋友,都欢迎你回来。是你教我放下执著的,所以也请你放下你的原则,让人帮你解决你的压力和问题。我是不比你了解我般了解你,但我不会笨到你是怎样的人我都不懂。或许我真的不懂,那应该是因为你真的变了,所以我不了解你了。朋友,你是我最熟悉的陌生人。保重你自己!!永远祝福你!!我也希望我自己不会再为你流泪了,因为长大了不应该随便流泪了。。。只是不明白为什么我把朋友看的那么重。。。

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Results released!!

tHe fEeLinG iS sO nErVouS wHeN My fRenZ SmS mE tHe ReSuLts ReLeased...actly tHe dAy BefoR tAt I ad Cnt FaLL sLeEp bCz So sCaRe tat I cNt gRaDuAt wIt u alL~anD I am AfRaId tHat I wiL mAk3 my PaReNts dissapointed~.~ tHeY put mUch hOpE oN me...but I fEeLs Lik juz wasted my 2yrs time and my parents money...AT LAST~I get my results tat no making dem disappointed!I Feels console bcz the results is much more better than my expectation!!SO,I dOnE mY Diploma on time ~ and now I am LookIng for more further study as much as i can!!
no education=no future?? For me...yes~the realistic world is lik tat!!no education=no good career=no high pay,which mean will be very hard for live~I wanna earn as much money as i can~for myself n oso my family!!So,I will be more hardworkin in the future~Promised!!^^

Sharing My Sweet Memories Photo!!








Genting Farewell Trip @ 19-21 May 2009~





















BaLi Trip @ 12-16 May 2009~DFI3 Classmate!!


Friendship Forever^@^


Holiday~ing~

Long time din post new blog ad~i alwz forgot de password for my blog la..sienz~
Luckily I do remind it today..den i nonid to create a new one again...MAY is a tired but full of enjoyable month...tis whole month,i don realy hv one day can hv well sleep..bcz i keep on travellin to here n der..if not,den working lo..if not..den i oso duno wat else i hav done..bcz i went for 3 trips in a month...quite enjoy la!!^^I miss u guys alot ya ~

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Tired~

This whole week..my life is busy til i cnt breath~but i enjoy it altot i feel so tired with this!!
I don wish to let myself to be free,cuz when i was alone and doin ntg..i will simply thk!!
This weaknes hard to change,i only can make myself to be very very busy...realy tired,but i do!!
The stupid PC fair job realy make me feels myself lik labour,pay only 60/day,but wan me work 12 hours..and don even hv break time..after eat the packed food must continue workin ad..so~damn it!!!But tat is the way for making myself busy...and tired til no time to thk much!haha~~realy feels myself so 'fan jian'..next week,next next week got coursework n final exam...i got no time to take a breath recently!!This is my life....

Friday, April 3, 2009

Learning how to give up~

Frenz, I knw u so suffer for being my frenz..
I will learn how to giv up from now on..
I treat frenz so real n sincere..
I knw i need much time to do tat..
Trust me i can do it..try my best!
Start from today~ 3 April 2009......
I won make u suffer anymore..
U will be more happier i knw~
You forever best frenz in my heart!!!
~caryn~

Friday, March 27, 2009

Everything keep on changing~

Everything in our life doesn't goes well as what we wish...
Nothing can be so perfect,
And nobody and ntg will be remain the same forever,
Peoples keep on changing as time goes by,
Time past so fast,we can't get anythg if we din change ourselves,
When stil a child,we nonid to thk so much~bcz parents will thk for us
Follows by our growing~many thg we need to knw how to handle..
Because nobody will alwz stand beside u and support u..
You din find out the method to solve,nobody can help..
Can't expect anyone to help u,cuz we live in realistic world..
Peoples are SELFISH and ntg important than their ownself..
Everyone will change to be more better or worst,
What we can do is change ourselves in this REALISTIC world,
Don't expect anyone will change bcz of u,and think on ur behalf...
So,we must follow up the trend of this realistic world..
If not suffer one will be ourselves~
Just face anything we meet,don't thk of avoid it~
Because our life is to challenge wit many kind of decision,but
NOT BE COWARD!!
I alwz think ntg can be forever,
but in my heart i stil trust something can be forever,
THAT is what i SAY and PROMISE in my life,
Nobody know about it,
But GOD will understand!!
~GOD BLESS ME~

Monday, March 9, 2009

祝我生日快乐吧~~

我的生日就酱过了~谢谢那些还记得我生日的朋友,真的很感动!有些我不是很熟的人也有祝我~朋友还比知己来的更有心。有人说~朋友可以很多,但知音难求。我真的相信了~寻找知音不是单方面的,如果另外一方不愿意跟你交心,那最多就只能做朋友罢了!我真的累了~我不会再找什么知己了。。两次的失败其实已让我对朋友没什么信心了!!或许是我不够好又或许我的生命中不会有什么能够分担或分享心事的人吧!我没那种命~但我不会放弃的~我还会继续对你好的。。因为这是我对朋友的原则!我只能努力靠自己来解决一切事务,我的人生应该是充满挑战的!我要加油~为生命中的一切加油!!

我第一个生日愿望是希望~我的家人,干妈一家人,还有我的朋友。。都能平安快乐!
第二是希望我的学业还有将来的事业能够一切顺利!
第三个愿望是保留着的!!!心里知到就好~

牛牛,生日快乐!!^^

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

分享一首歌~我们的纪念

数不清的泪 我又哭了好几回
幻化成蝶 停留在这片落叶
被风化的雪 埋藏在千年以前
我用尽一生的思念 只为等着你出现
回忆渐渐凋谢我在我身边
唤不醒原来还跳动的画面
就让我留在轮回的边缘 等一道光线
看见某年某月我们之间曾经说过的预言
就让她带走你的那瞬间成为我们的纪念
谁能发现我的世界曾经有过你的脸
数不清的泪 我又哭了好几回
幻化成蝶 停留在这片落叶
被风化的雪 埋藏在千年以前
我用尽一生的思念 只为等着你出现
回忆渐渐凋谢我在我身边
唤不醒原来还跳动的画面
就让我留在轮回的边缘 等一道光线
看见某年某月我们之间曾经说过的预言
就让她带走你的那瞬间成为我们的纪念
谁能发现我的世界曾经有过你的脸
就让我留在轮回的边缘 等一道光线
看见某年某月我们之间曾经有过的预言
就让她带走你的那瞬间成为我们的纪念
谁能发现我的世界曾经有过你的脸

.....ntg can be forever!!!

yesterday start my new sem and oso my last sem~i realy duno why i stil continue wit my study..my future is wat??befor,i had stated a clear future dream~but now it seems lik so hard for me to make my dreams come true!I feel so hopeless in everythg~my study,my dreams,my future,my frenz and my everythg~i don hv confidence to all these thg anymore!!especially frenz~tat day,i hurt one of my frenz by using some heartless word...i knw i hurt her!!i feel guilty after said lik tat.But thx to her tat she treat me as best frenz,jz i don realiz!Cause of a frenz~~and now i won trust frenz anymore,altot he/she realy treat me as a best frenz,but i won trust tat is smthg can be forever anymore.In relationship~i oso won trust!cuz in the real world~ntg can be forever!!anyone oso can betray u...anyone oso will leave u...So,I will treat myself as gud as i can!I trust myself more than others~But i won treat my frenz bad,cuz i care my frenz more than everythg!cause i appreciate everythg tat given by the god....i trust in 'yuan fen'~

Sunday, February 22, 2009

第一次写blog~其实真的不知道有些什么好写的!!

第一次写blog~其实真的不知道有些什么好写的!!但我真的很想找个地方诉说我的心情。。。因为没人了解我,我也没有勇气告诉别人我的问题或感受~我只能默默地放在心上!把沉重的背包留给自己。在他人面前的我,并不是真正的我自己。我也不清楚自己到底想怎样~

我希望每一天都能把我的心情写在这里。。我并不需要别人的欣赏~我只想做回‘原来的我’!
我要为自己加加油~~~